God is not surprised by my circumstances, although I often wonder, “how did I get here,” or “how did this happen”?
I remember a seminary professor asking the class, “Does God know where every ant is in the world at this moment?” My first thought was would He want to know about ants?
Considering the question and my circumstances…
I answered the question with “yes,” to both. God does know where each ant is at this moment and my circumstances. Hmmm… it reminded me of this passage.
“I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous, your handmade sky jewelry, moon, and stars mounted in their settings. Then I look at my micro-self and wonder, why do you bother with us? Why take a second look our way? (Message Psalm 8:8)
This passage makes me ponder about who God says He is and where I find myself. There are so many major things in the world to consider – suffering, loss, abuse, and the list can go without an end. I don’t know how others experience or don’t experience God in their moments, and frankly, I don’t think it’s really my business. He desires a deep relationship with me and my center is what He is speaking to me. I don’t know why I want to include others or the major issues of the world; maybe being alone with God is scary and a distraction from my “stuff.” I mean it is the Infinite with the finite. This is more than my mind can grasp. He is concerned with me and He is an active reality in my life.
Since He knows all things about me, my concerns, wonderings, and hopes – what is He inviting me into this very moment? I am invited in these moments to silence the noise in my head, be still, and listen. He has something to say and a direction to lead. He is not wringing his hands wondering what is Rob going to do next. My moment with Him is now.
His love is great towards me. Just as I wait for my adult children to open their hearts to me, so I believe the Lord waits for us. He is near and loves me. In a step of faith towards him no matter how small it may seem, I will meet Him afresh. “…Because anyone who wants to approach God must believe both that he exists and that he cares enough to respond to those who seek him.” (Message, Hebrews 11:6b) He desires good for me even in my mistakes and the misgivings of others towards me so I turn my soul to the One who created the heavens and earth.
This posture, this inquiring of Him, is discernment’s beginnings – He is near – He knows – He wants to speak.