I started a house project that I have put off for a long time. It has been needed and desired but dreaded. It requires manual labor, lots of it. The more I do on my own, the more I save overall. I am all about saving money, so I rolled up my sleeves.
The goal is to widen my driveway. The driveway is eight feet wide with concrete walls leaning in on both sides. My Yaris has difficulty not bumping doors on the walls getting in and out. The concrete slap is broken up, making raining days pools of water resting away from the drain. I love this kind of work. My dad has taught me well. You know you have worked when your sore muscles remind you that you are alive, dirty, sweaty, and creative at the end of the day. It reminds you that you're not a young buck anymore.
I asked a friend to take charge of this endeavor. He is a highly experienced landscaper who loves the work more than anyone I know. He is well informed and knows the ins and outs of beautifying any project. He is a pretty amazing guy.
Before my friend joined, I began digging and removed ten pick-up loads of dirt from behind the walls. Before he arrived, he instructed me on everything I could do. When my friend arrived the first day, we jackhammered the walls out, removed more dirt, and measured off precisely where the new walls would be established and the width of the new driveway layered with pavers. The last dismantling effort was removing the concrete slab to get to the dirt below, following the walls. As we were moving out the slabs of broken concrete, we pulled the slabs next to the house that left a massive gap from underneath the door, enabling me to see my basement floor from outside by the sidewalk. I was floored with anxiety immediately.
My friend said with all assurance that everything was normal and well. This has happened many times, and I know how to recover from all of this. On the other hand, I was reeling with anxious thoughts of how this would look, how this would be fixed, and how I would keep the rain out along with the critters before its completion. I am silently praying for all I am worth in these moments. My friend is just working away, completing the task of removing the concrete slabs. I am desperately tired and out of energy at this point in our day; my mind is reeling with all the "what ifs," I am repeatedly saying to myself between the prayers, 'I bit off more than I can chew here.' I need immediate help - ugh.
I had to get a sense of peace and know that all would be well because spinning in my head and throwing up "Hail Mary" prayers wasn't working. I walked up to my friend. I placed my hand on his shoulder to get his full attention. I said, "Phil, I need you to look me in the eye and say, 'Rob, peace to you, it is going to be all right.' Phil has an amazing smile. He chuckled a bit and said, "Rob, be at peace. It will all come together and be all right." I said, "I believe you, Phil."
My day ended much better than I thought it would, after he spoke the words I requested of him. The project is not done, but I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Today, we are laying the wall. :)
The following day, reflecting on my inner dialogue, my need for words of affirmation, and sharing my anxiety with my friend rather than keeping it to myself and overthinking produced a sense of peace. We need one another in times such as these. This may seem minor or significant to some, but it was my real world that day. We need people with whom we can share our struggles, whether they are situations that arise or long-term struggles. We need others who will speak over us, pray for us, and be with us. No one wants to feel alone, especially when we are around others, and no one wants to spin out, and everyone experiences life like this at certain points.
The most encouraging thing of my reflection is that I am never alone, and neither are you. God's most repeated command with a promise in the Bible is, "Do not fear for I am always with you." He is with us through all the experiences of life. However, we have heard this just as much as John 3:16, meaning it has lost its truthful meaning for us. Not only is He with us, but He knows what He is doing no matter what projects we find ourselves facing; nothing surprises Him. He loves each of us and desires goodwill for all. He is with me at 3:30 am, writing this blog. He is with you now, no matter what you are facing. We can ask, seek, and knock for the needs in our moments and even the long struggles of our lives. There is nothing we can't talk to Him about. If we don't acknowledge God is with us, there is nothing to discuss.
~GOD IS ALWAYS PRESENT TENSE~
We can ask others for help when we need it or feel alone. What a comforting truth that assistance is only in the asking with God and others. We all need a Phil in our lives, and we need the reality of God in our lives. God knows my needs, but Phil would not have understood my need unless I asked him. My part is to make my needs known to Him and those around me.
I pray that you will give your friend(s) like Phil a chance to stand and speak into your moments.
I pray that Christ will give you eyes to see Him, ears to hear Him, and a deep assurance that He is present with you.
Suppose you need a space to process your heart's movements, anxious thoughts, or feelings of loneliness. I would be honored to sit with you as we visit with the Lord about your life or past experiences and receive the support you need.
Peace to you, my friends,
Rob
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